Hi there, my names Lauren white. I am a 26 years old, from Hertfordshire and this is my story..
From a very young age I always felt less than. Whether I felt less than in my family, less than in my school, less than in myself. Everything just felt like I wasn’t good enough. But really it was how I felt about myself.
Comparing myself to others and being a perfectionist was something I was so good at. Trying to be someone I was not so that I would be accepted because I was scared that if I showed the real me I would be rejected.
I had a lot of family issues from alcoholism, cancer, emotional abuse etc. Due to that the only way I dealt with it was drink, drugs and bulimia. Getting myself into relationships with guys I didn’t want to be with or putting myself in bad situations.
The less I felt about myself the more I would self destruct. Until I went to rehab at 18 and got help. I’m 7 years sober now and wouldn’t change it for the world. The hardest thing is that the journey doesn’t end and there are days where you really still struggle. I still sometimes think I’m worthless or not good enough but I use tools to try and change that.
To help me overcome these thoughts I...
1. Share how I’m feeling to another person whether it’s small or big to take the power out of it
2. Jot down how I’m feeling in a journal and then mediate on it.
3. Stay in the now by turning off my phone or taking a step back from the overwhelming feelings
4. Acknowledge 10 things I’m grateful for and say out loud 10 affirmations
5. Finally, do things loving and kind for myself that will make me feel worthy like calling someone else up and asking how their day is or helping another person.
I believe in loving yourself no matter what and everything happening for a reason.