I am so grateful for my scar because without her I wouldn’t be alive today...

Hey Queens,

I hope you are all staying as safe as can be during this difficult new world we are living in? My name is Natalie-Amber, and I am a model and performer from the UK. I have Crohns Disease and I now raise awareness for Body Positivity.

I won’t go into too much of my story, I shall attach the link where you can read all about it at the end of this blog but basically I collapsed and went blind in December 2017 after being misdiagnosed for 7 years, I had Sepsis and Kidney failure and my parents were told I wasn’t going to survive. God was on my side because here I am today. I had a stoma bag for a year and then I had it reversed in 2018 December. I am now left with a huge scar down my belly and it really did affect me mentally.

For me, being a signed model having this huge scar down my stomach was the worst thing I thought could have happened to me. I accepted the stoma bag way before I accepted the scar. I knew the scar would be with me forever. I wouldn’t even look in the mirror at myself, I was just so ashamed and felt ugly. I constantly compared myself to social media. I would scroll down the timeline and see all these beautiful women, with amazing figures and the best bellies. I would’ve at the time gave anything to have their bellies. Instagram actually made me more depressed and I became bitter and envious of all these women. I began looking into things like getting my lips done, or dying my hair lighter to feel pretty, none of these will ever bring you true happiness by the way, short term happiness only. I just wanted at the time a big physical change to make up for this hideous new belly of mine.

Luckily I had supportive friends and family who convinced me otherwise, I was beautiful the way I am. It was then I had a very big break down and it was one of the worst ones I ever had, I have luckily never felt so low as to be suicidal again apart from that time. I was googling things like ‘Miracles’ and ‘Magic’ as such to try and find ways to help myself and I came across the Law of Attraction. The Law of Attraction is basically: POSITIVE THOUGHTS – POSITIVE LIFE. We have the power to manifest anything we want as long as we believe, and we change our mindset for the better. I began researching more and more into it and my life slowly changed for the better.

The Law of Attraction teaches you to be grateful for everything that comes your way no matter how small. It was then I realised how lucky I was to be alive. So, what I have a scar, without her I wouldn’t be here today, being able to walk, talk, breathe, and achieve what I was destined to do. I felt God saved me to help heal others. This was my calling. I began realising I do not need to look like others to be beautiful because I already am beautiful. I actually think looking like others is boring, why be a sheep when you could be a unicorn, rare and unique.

I now dedicate my life to uplifting women, helping them realise they are perfect just the way they are. I am proud of how far I have come.

Advice I would love for you Queens to take, it would be to unfollow anybody who makes you feel depressed or rubbish about yourself on social media, yes I know that may mean your favourite celebrity woman crush but she has to go, she isn’t benefiting you in a healthy way. Get rid of friends and even family who make you feel rubbish about yourself or put you down in any way. Only follow accounts who inspire you, uplift you and help make you realise how special and beautiful you are. I would also say write a list of I AMS every single day 5 of them. They can be in this kind of format and anything you want as long as you write I AM:

I am strong

I am beautiful

I am open to receiving love

I am capable of achieving whatever I want.

I am worthy

Also, a list of 10 gratitude’s every day. Try to change them up if you can and it can be anything you want. In this format

‘I am so grateful for my scar because without her I wouldn’t be alive today’

‘I am so thankful for my mum because she is so supportive in all I do’

‘I am blessed for the food I eat because it keeps me healthy’

You can also use the words ‘I am so happy’ if you like or anything else that is uplifting and positive.

I really do hope this blog can be of some help for you all, any questions feel free to give me a message on my Instagram @natalie_amber1 I am here for you all.


Natalie-Amber xxx

To read Natalie's feature in the Daily Mail click here.

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